Off Center

This is the feeling that I’ve had lately and I rather dislike it. A lot of this seem to stem from trying to find my focus and drive as I startup another season. In the big picture there is Ironman Wisconsin somewhere off there in the distance but yet it has an enormous effect on my everyday life. I’ve struggled with getting into a regular training program since the beginning of the year. Not that I should be doing a ton, but the routine is just not there. The other portions of my life; work, friends, relationships, coaching, ect continue to win out and be my focus. This isn’t entirely a bad thing, but at some point soon that will have to change. At some point my focus will have to change and that will mean significant changes in my life and I’m not sure if I’m ready for those changes.

I guess what this all boils down to are the fears that are associated with doing an Ironman. To which there are many and occur on many different levels. On one side you have the race itself and all the training to prepare for it and then on the other there are all the personal affects and all the things that get sacrificed for the sake of preparing for such a race. All of which scare the bejesus out of me. My guess is that every Ironman nubie comes across these issues and for me that time is now and will probably continue for the next 9 months.

I guess through all this mumbling what I’m trying to say is that I have fears and issues to address over the next 9 months. Some will have to be taken care of sooner then others, but at some point I will need to deal with each and every one of them. If I disregard even a single one there is no way that I can reach my goal with is the finish line of Ironman Wisconsin…